My favourite night of the year is 18 hours away
But an undeniable sadness has taken hold
I can’t sleep
Seems to be a thing lately
Something is whispering deep in my soul
Sending me a clear message
Don’t live in the past anymore
Ten years with this hole in my heart
I can’t do another year feeling this way
I’m imprisoned by memories of a love I can’t let go
Every single minute
Of every single day
To the outside world I seem
Behaved in a normal way
Grounded, smart and sensical
But in truth
I’d rather not be here
No drama
Just honesty
I am losing my belief in happy
If you can hear me God, please release me
One way or another
No one deserves to live this way
The only thing worse
Than loving without hope
Is knowing