In This Skin

I used to feel


In this skin

But she told me to hide it

Wear the mask

Of her perceived lesbianism

As if my skin was


And I would never fit in

Never be real enough

Damaged enough

Silent enough

Loud enough

Strong enough

Perfect enough

Lesbian enough



She was wrong

I am beautiful

Simply. Honestly. Beautiful

And I always was

Perfectly acceptable

In this sexy









Pretty Little Things

Feeling sexy…and found this…thanks, Javon ;) Enjoy the shop!

Originally posted on Javon Monét:

​I’d like to consider myself a sensual woman, recently I fell in love with lingerie. Any excuse to buy some and I’m heading to the store to put a dent in my bank account. However, as a curvy lady finding lingerie can be tricky. To me there’s a fine line one must walk in order to achieve the desired look.

When I am shopping I want to make sure that it is flattering. I am not one of those plus size girls that follow all of the trends. I do not believe that if it comes in your size you should wear it. I’m sorry, but everything isn’t for everybody. You play up your good areas and camouflage the not so good ones. A lot of sites are big on corsets which are great and if you like it I love it. I am not a corset kind of girl…

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Dean Koontz

One of  my favorite, all-time psychological thriller writers, hands down. Found this quote on new followers blog…thanks, neurotica.

“Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.” ― Dean Koontz, The Darkest Evening of the Year


now I would REALLY like to have a chat with mr. dean.

or God.



Ever elusive
A warmth unfelt
Arms that have never
Embraced me
I’m missing
What I have never had

I’m utterly exhausted
Both inside and out
I want and need easy now
Don’t I deserve
To finally know

It seems the past
Is never forgotten
Just buried under the pretense
Of forgiveness
And finger pointing is
A favored game

I am no longer
Inclined to labor
In this gutting occupation
Divested of all belief
That love is
The ultimate

I just want to be
In a space of trusted
And nourished intimacy
Giving myself in return
To secure that indefinable singularity
My heart calls

Sigh. If only…



Finding love

now this is what i’m talking about…we ALL need a little more of this ;)

Originally posted on The Flannel Files:

W texted me from work yesterday afternoon.

“Can we have the same thing for dinner that we had last night?”

“Um, I think so,” I text back.

It is not a difficult meal to prepare.  Breaded chicken tenders, noodles with butter and parmesan, and corn.

Imagine a butcher version Me, only butchier.

W is struggling with some things these days, so I do what I can to make things easy for her.  I try to have dinner ready when she comes home.  I try to have the house picked up and food in the fridge.  I buy her cards and write her notes and sneak a piece of chocolate in her lunch.  Cooking chicken tenders two days in a row really isn’t a big deal.

When W comes home, I am in the kitchen finishing up dinner.

“Thank you for finding me,” she says.

Online datingShe says it all the time.  It’s a reference to…

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