“simply unforgettable. i wish we had met.”

~me

anyone. couldn’t find a single flaw in her. I’d watch her across the green, dew-soaked field laughing and stretching with her girlfriends. How I envied those girlfriends. I wanted to go up to Eleanor and say something smart so she’d think I was cool, but she seemed so out of my league, and I was way too shy. All I knew was that as much as I wanted to win that trophy and title, I also wanted her to notice me. Maybe even like me.

Hormones raging in the sweet bud of tween-dom and puppy love bubbling under the surface had me feeling all kinds of crazy inside. I couldn’t believe how much I was into this girl I barely knew! Crushes don’t make sense; they just happen. And Eleanor was mine. 

I flushed, washed my hands and pulled the chain. Darkness loomed but got brighter as I moved slowly, almost cautiously down the hallway. The living room was lit. Appeared lived in. Half-empty glasses and dirty ashtrays littered the coffee table. Cushions askew on the couch. A pale blanket on the chair. Some toys stuffed in the corner. A children’s book on the floor. But the room was empty of life. I was left with the impression of ghosts having recently passed through. Confused, but not alarmed, I continued to peer around the corners and walls, but no one else was in the apartment. My brother and I were alone. I remember seeing what looked like a large basket on the dining room table behind the couch. Decorated with ribbons. In celebration of something, it seemed, and yet, there were no guests in attendance. My parents were nowhere to be found.

Most of that year, the entire school was buzzing with talk of who would be the athlete of the year. It was between Eleanor and I and everyone knew it. Now and then, while I warmed up, I would feel her gaze on me; her determination when sizing me up. During those times I’d take extra care to pose a bit longer. I liked it when I had her attention.

Eleanor was hardcore, but I wasn’t intimidated. I wanted the title and the trophy. I felt like it might put me in the same league as her somehow if I went up against her and won. Don’t get me wrong. I was a fierce competitor. I wanted to win, hands down. But, beating Eleanor would absolutely put the cherry on top and make the win just that much sweeter!

Track and Field Day finally came. It was a perfect summer day. Blue skies, fluffy clouds, and green grass. The sand pits were combed, the high jump bed in place, and chalk lines marked out the field. I’m not sure why Eleanor and I never actually competed against each other, but the scores were being tallied. My friends were cheering me on, telling me I was way ahead; Eleanor’s people were doing the same. We were both winning first-place ribbons so no one but the scorekeepers knew the truth.

I remember how excited I was. Adrenaline flooding my body with crazy wild energy. Totally in my element. I loved sports and I was good at them. And I knew it. But Eleanor represented a real challenge. Probably the first one to give me real competition in an arena outside of adoption. The first moment I saw her, I knew she my kind of cute. But she was also my rival. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking of kissing her.

Needless to say, I had mixed feelings.

I finally found something I was really good at, and here comes this cute boy-girl to steal my spotlight. I was excited to have some competition, and nervous at the same time. She was faster, stronger, and maybe even better than me. Maybe. She won the title and trophy the year before, and I never even thought I could be in the running. I loved sports and had some mad skills to be sure, but I’m not sure how much I truly believed in myself. But this year was different. I was good and had the ribbons to prove it. Besides, this was my last chance. She’d be gone next year. Have I mentioned how competitive I was back then? Or how much I really really wanted to be Athlete of The Year? 😉

As the day progressed, the possibility of winning Athlete of the Year started to become a serious consideration. I was unstoppable and broke a few records along the way. When the final event was finished and whistles signalled the assembly, we gathered around on the grass and listened as the boy’s gym teacher commended us all for our efforts. Tradition dedicated that the actual announcement of all the winners of awards would occur during the ceremony the next day.

Afterward, I noticed Eleanor remained seated on the grass with her friends and managed to convince a few of mine to linger as well, giving me an excuse to continue observing her. None of them knew I had a serious crush; they simply assumed my interest was driven by competitiveness.

That night I barely slept. Thoughts kept jumping back and forth between Eleanor and the possibility of actually winning the award. The following morning, I practically raced to school, excited for the final day of the year. Everyone was laughing and joking as we gathered in the gym. I found my little posse and we squealed like only 5th graders can before being shushed by the cantankerous Ms. Glory. We giggled and found seats on the floor, teachers stationed at the end of each aisle. The air literally buzzed with excitement. One by one, awards were distributed, starting from the smallest and progressing to the most prestigious. My friends and I tightly held hands, nerves building with each passing moment.

The moment of truth finally arrived. I closed my eyes, heart pounding in my chest, as the principal prepared to announce the winner of the coveted title Athlete of the Year.

The gym fell silent as he took the stage. I could feel my pulse racing. My mind split between wishing more than anything and there’s no way I won. It felt like an eternity as the principal teased us, building up the suspense before finally announcing, “And the Athlete of the Year is…”

My heart seemed to stop as I waited for the name to be called. Would it be more? Or Eleanor?

The principal declared my name and a rush of emotion flooded over me. I couldn’t believe it! I had actually won! Cheers erupted from my friends and the entire gym joined in. I jumped up and ran up the few stairs to the stage. The principal smiled and shook my hand before handing me the biggest trophy I had never seen, while the girls’ gym teacher placed a ribboned medallion around my neck. As I stood there basking in the spotlight, I scanned the crowd of applauding schoolmates until my eyes landed on Eleanor. She was watching me and when our eyes met, she gave me a slow nod and a soft smile. 

I was in heaven. 

She began to clap loudly, joining in the chorus of congratulations. It was a moment I will never forget, seeing her genuine expression of approval amidst the supercharged high of victory. And you know what? It was even better than the cherry on top!

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