Hard

My dreams and reality

Have definitely collided

So my mind’s in control now

Cuz my heart is too tired.

I’m fighting a war

I should have known I can’t win

So I think it’s time

To fucking give in.

Have I made a mistake?

Should I have stayed dressed

In the mask of my life

Safe and unexpressed?

Where my quiet brokenness

Still passed for whole

And this shadow of doubt

Didn’t blacken my soul?

I don’t know anymore

What I had hoped in my dreams

But this life is not

What she promised to me.

And the disappointment

I assure you

Is acute.

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Photo Inspired #3

Your Name


teach_me

Teach me

Your name

In kisses.

Breathe the letters

Over my tongue

In sweet

Soft whispers.

Show me

Over and over

Till I understand

And spell it back to you

In endless

Slow

Repeat.


“Unless it’s mad, passionate, and extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; Love shouldn’t be one of them.” ~ Unknown

 

Imposter

Beneath the veil of a thin veneer

That shades the proper movements

Of an ordinary life

With no extraordinary strife

There is a tell at the edge of her happy.

 

Not seen by all, but to some so clear

A quivering hesitation

Lives deep in the anguish

Of unspoken language

In the echo of the sweetest laughter.

 

Perfected artifice in surrogate love

She bears her loss in the weight of the lull

Between each step she takes

And works hard not to break

The uncomfortable rhythm of her stride.

 

 

 

 

Internal Dialogue #1

Lately I’ve been feeling my personal/emotional worldview slipping from one kalidescope into another. Things I once knew with such certainty are now hovering on the fringe of doubt. And things I was absolutely positive would never be entertained by this seven dimensional mind, are springing into view lively and energetic.

In part, I am saddened by the loss of feelings and beliefs I’ve clutched close to my hearts core like a frayed and tattered lifeline. While old and definitely showing signs of age and wear, it has pushed me thru necessary conflict, always reliable and safe. And a constant companion for so long. Growing me, changing me, elvolving me and challenging me in unimaginable ways. A reliable, steadfast friend who seemed to have my best interest at heart. It’s a hard loss to comprehend.

I’m struggling.

And in part, I am excited to move into a new personal/emotional worldview because it means….

Hmm. 🤔

Nope. 

Still on the fence. 

Change does not always come easy to me.

To be continued…😶

Lonely Roads #2: Migration

On the bus again. 

Solitude beckons.

Heartache shared.

I’ve screamed. I’ve cried. I’ve left.

I’ve hurt. I’ve breathed. I’ve let go.

So many regrets

Live inside the place

Where Hope should have thrived.

I am human.

I’ve made mistakes.

This bus ride

Is not one of them.

For weeks I’ve listened and watched

The Canada geese fly south.

Migration.

Homeward bound.

Eminent.

Wings spread in formation 

Sure of their path

And their place

In the grand scheme of Life.

The first and the last

Equally important

For the survival of all.

Bound by nature.

By familial bonds.

By something

That has no word in English.

But as much apart of them

As their regal crowns.

As I boarded the bus

I found a feather.

Tucked it in my pocket

And wished to belong to something 

That has no word in English.