I often reflect on my life from a place of wonderment. That I’ve even survived is pretty much a miracle. I’ve stopped questioning my purpose and the reasons for the things I’ve endured. I don’t always understand the lessons I’m being taught, but I do believe there is a grand design which will be made evident to me one day. Perhaps in life, but certainly in death. I also believe they have had to be endured to teach me something. Something of importance and significant meaning. I’m sure of that. Though at times the message is vaguely reminiscent of a subtle scent on the lightest breeze. Alluring, somewhat perceivable, yet frustratingly elusive.

To say the scales of this life have been emotionally unbalanced would be an understatement. I was not born into the embracing arms of family, or ever knew the love of a mother. Or a father. Abandonment, loneliness, and struggle have outweighed any sense of belonging, loving and ease. I am not a victim and I don’t feel like one. I am a survivor. There is a difference. I am also a starry eyed, often times, naive dreamer, who still clings, somewhat stubbornly, to the belief that I will find someone whose heart, spirit, mind and body, will match my own capacity to love and be loved. And that it will be easy and honest and playful and fun. Love is not meant to be so serious.

I had all of that once. Then he died. I almost had it twice. Then she left. And now at this stage of my life, I’m not so sure there will be a third time. Why should I be so fortunate when others have never known a love like that, even once. I am in awe. I am grateful. I am humbled by all the love I have often felt undeserving to have. But I know in my heart I am worthy of having the love I want. And that she is worthy of me. And the Universe knows it too. ❤️


It’s an odd place to be

Where someone could say

Be careful what you wish for.

I bargained with the Universe

Made promises I may or may not keep

And I wished and dreamed and hoped.

I cried. I ranted. I raved.

Some were convinced I had lost my mind

Because I wouldn’t or couldn’t let it go.

I broke hearts along the way

Not intentionally, or to be cruel

But because they weren’t the one

No matter how much they, or I

Wanted them to be.

My heart was still broken and empty

And that’s all that I knew.

But still my wish did not come true.

So I gave up.

I let go of the dream.

Finally believing it was not mine to have.

The tears subsided, the ranting slowed

Acceptance calmed me into quiet stillness.

I was finally at peace with the knowledge

That not all wishes are heard

And not all dreams come true.

And then…

Without warning

In a bit of serendipitous happenstance

Here it is.

Or is it?

How do I even know?

The Universe did a really, really good job

Of convincing me time and time again

That I could not have my hearts desire.

So good, in fact, there was nothing left

But a fading shimmer of stardust

And not a single, solitary speck of hope.

Or was there?

Life.

I am befuddled. (Great word 🤓)

Lesson here?

Maybe…never give up?

I don’t really know.

The Universe is full of capricious mystery

I don’t presume to understand.

So, now, all I can do is pray

That she finds my long lost, glass slipper

And that we live and love

Happily ever after.

Without Cinderella wishes

What have we got?

❤️

Stay safe. Be kind. Love yourself.

You deserve all that your heart desires.

4 thoughts on “Cinderella Wishes

  1. I love love LOVE this! What a beautiful and honest tribute to serendipitous happenstance. Love that line. I want to know more lol. Sending love always, sweet woman. ❤

    1. Lol you’re in the loop already, Denny! I feel like the story is being written moment by moment, breath by breath, and I’m not sure how much control I actually have…and that’s a wee bit scary lol. Denny you are truly a breath of fresh air! Thank you. 💕🙏🏽😉

  2. You never cease to amaze me with your flare for turning a phrase and making it uniquely your own. At times it breaks my heart to read you, and others it’s so much fun! You are such an interesting and delightful surprise, Trish. I hope you get your Cinderella wish! 👑 Take care and stay strong. 💕

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