I was sitting at the kitchen table in the group home where I work when sharp flashes of light started glinting off my glasses. I was texting Uber for my ride home. After a few more distracting, and frankly annoying flashes, I looked up quickly in frustration feeling agitated. I was having a shit day and this sudden flashing wasn’t helping.
I felt my agitation slip away, almost shamefully, as I recognized the cause.
Through the deep foliage of lush green trees across the street the sun was winking and blinking at me. Dancing across the leaves, vying for my attention over the glow of my Samsung. I watched the light show for a second before slowly putting my phone down. The leaves twinkling like diamonds in a sea of green had me mesmerized and an unbidden smile took over.
I felt instantly happy.
Sun dapple does that.
I watched as the peachy yellow orb quickly sank below the rooftops taking with it the playful dancing light, and a memory drifted in on the peaceful wave of really being present.
I remembered being a child running in the wheat, arms spread wide, face turned to the sun, a smile on my face as I took in the total freedom of the moment.
My first experience of being one with the Universe.
I may have been 4 or 5. The wheat was taller then me. Golden and warm, with soft fuzzy tips that brushed against my fingers. The gentle breeze bowed the thin shafts. I remembered how free and happy I felt in that moment, lightyears away from the harsh reality of my abandonment and procession of foster homes that had begun and would continue for years to come.
It’s a beautiful, crystal clear memory.
Immersed in nature.
Unedited and at peace.
And it still brings me peace amidst the turmoil and complications of adult life. Whenever I remember to remember that moment.
As the sun disappeared and the demands of closing my shift came to the forefront, I silently promised myself to go to that place more often. To the wheat. To the free. To the peace. And not just on the shit days.😉
Remember your happy childhood place and go there often.