You’re Kidding. Right?

I don’t get it.

I just don’t get it!

Just when I think I’ve done well

In managing the hard shit life has been throwing at me lately

With maturity and dignity and grace

And still keeping my sanity and emotional balance intact

No matter how brutal the waves of backlash

No matter how great the suffering

No matter how challenging the behavior

No matter how deep the rejection

No matter how tempted I’ve been to say fuck it all!

And simply disappear (yeah that’s been a real thing)

The phone rings

And the universe says

Sorry, fragile human

We have one more thing for you to deal with

So suck it up buttercup!

You’re kidding. Right?

You couldn’t give me a fucking minute?

To find my place in this suddenly foreign landscape?

Seriously?!!! WTF.

Man…

Sometimes I think it’s better to dwell in the blackest black

To feel from the meanest places

To stay in the darkest moods

And harbor the most sinister thoughts

Then to be a ray of fucking sunshine.

Okay, Universe…I hear you.

But just so you know…

A thread.

A . Single . Solitary . Fucking . Thread .

That’s all I’ve got left.

And if it snaps.

I’m done.

And I’m taking my fucking toys with me!

For fuck sakes.

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4 thoughts on “You’re Kidding. Right?

  1. I don’t think the “tests” ever really stop T but I truly believe there is something to learn in everything if you look deep enough to find it. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much and I believe me when I say I understand and feel your pain. Have hope and keep the faith. This too shall pass dear one. Stay strong! I know that all sounds very cliche but when you live to be a hundred you learn a thing or two 😉 and this I have learned to be true. But I too have wanted to stop playing and take my toys and go home many many times before. I like your dark humor. It does get better! I promise. Sending love to you always. ❤❤

    1. Ugh!!! I’m just so done with all the emotional upset Denny! Lol but I saw that picture and that’s exactly how I felt…like taking my big-ass teddy bear and running away…so it seemed fitting for this post. And yes I do have a dark sense of humor sometimes lol. I do try and keep my humour even when I want to scream and cry cuz without it I’d have snapped a long time ago. Thanks! Feeling the love. 🤗🙏❤

  2. The universe definitely works in mysterious way Tdot and the lessons are not always easy to understand at the moment you reciecve them, but please believe there’s always a bigger picture than the one you can only see right now. You’re a strong, amazing woman and somehow I think you can handle pretty much whatever life throws at you! I can appreciate that it hasn’t been easy though. Hang in there girl and stay in the light because you really ARE a ray of fucking sunshine and don’t you forget it! ((Hugs))

    1. Grrrr. Lol. Kinda fighting mad right now Sandy…spitting I’m the dirt and all that. But I am a strong and (sometimes) amazing woman who has handled a lot of shit, but I’m getting kinda done ya know? I just want some peace and quiet now. Enough with the crazy! Thanks tho. I know there’s a bigger story going on here. Hanging in!🦋

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