It took a minute.
Well. More than a minute.
More like 5 years and then some.
And when I say it like that it almost seems ridiculous, doesn’t it?
And I almost feel a little foolish that it’s taken me so long.
But the heart is a thing not always controlled.
I finally understand
You can never go back.
And in truth, I didn’t want to.
I only ever wanted to move forward.
But I do miss the sweetness of times
That were filled with the freshness of new.
Once upon a time is a real thing
But happily ever after is somewhat questionable.
The future can’t exist without the past.
And without the past there is no future.
Kind of an oxymoron.
And sometimes the same ol’ same ol’ can look brand new.
You just have to chose where you want to live.
It’s all about perspective I suppose.
But I’ve done what I needed to do.
And I did it scared.
I have regrets. Deep regrets. And I have sorrow.
My view will never be quite the same.
And neither will my heart.
I suppose experience is the wisest teacher
Even if it is relentless in it’s pursuit of knowledge.
But I survived and live to love another day.
I’m sure one day I will be grateful for the lessons
In life and love and coming out.
Just not today…
As I sit beside the shoreline to breathe in this day
Filled with angst and fear and wild imaginings
The release is bittersweet.
But I am free.
So I too will take one long last look at the sunset
And soak in the embers of the afterglow.
And remind myself
Never to forget the reckoning
The courage it took
The pride I feel
Or the truth
That lives in the feeling
Of this exact moment.
And then I will get up
And walk away
Because I was never meant to stay here
In the embers of the afterglow
Now that the sun has finally set.
Thank you Alexis…for the timely inspiration. ❤