Felicitations! You survived another year lol. I’m not big on resolutions so I haven’t made any. Besides, I consider my birthday to be the true beginning of a new year, so I’ll consider a res or two in May. For now, I’m just happy and grateful to be still standing!
Wow. Pinch. Yup still here. 😉
I must admit though, that this month has had me reflecting and self-evaluating, and so far this is what I’ve hit on. I’m sure there will be lots more to come lol.
The past 10 years have been an adventure I’m not sure I would have initiated if I had known all that I know now. Coming out has had some of the most incredible highs and some of the most heart-wrenching lows, and to be honest I thought I had already filled much of my quota of the lows beforehand. I thought I was good. You know, all that abandoned and abused stuff when I was a kid…
No such luck.
Coming out just kicked things up a notch.
But such is life right?
Trials and tribulations.
Lessons to learn.
Growth to be had.
If one is willing.
Admittedly I have resisted plenty. I haven’t wanted to admit truths to myself that were self-evident. It’s hard to let go of old dreams and wishes and plans. But if there is one thing 2018 has finally and unequivocally taught me it’s that resistance is futile. And it has not served me well.
Change is inevitable. I’ve always known that and I thought I was okay with it, but truth is, I’ve had to learn some really hard lessons about change this past year. And they all kinda sucked.
If I had to make a resolution for the entire year, it would be to be open to love. Be open to change. And to let go of the past. To explore my heart and understand what it needs. To listen closely to the voice within and believe her when she talks because she really does know me best. To practice self-love. More. Yeah, that one has been a challenge.
And to write! Damn it!
Okay. That was more than one resolution but you get the idea. 😊
I’m at work. Taking a minute to write something here cuz I miss my blog life. Very much. So I’ve decided that starting in February I’m going to write one post a week, just for me. Regardless of who reads it and damned be the consequence. I’m just a wee bit tired of letting the feelings and reactions of others dictate not only my writing life but my life in general. More often then not, others move on oblivious to my pain and turmoil, and I am left to wade through the shit alone. And that has to stop as well.
I’m not bitter. Or angry. Maybe a little sad. But mostly I’m feeling foolish that it’s taken me so long to realize this for myself. But I suppose better late than never.
So, having said that…I have to go.
I wish you all love and happiness and the will to live your life on your terms and each day to the fullest. Not just this year, but every year!
Happiness is a choice.
I’m going to. I have to. It’s time.
And even though it’s scary as hell right now…
I think it will be worth it.
Everyone else really is taken.
In love and light,