This Kind of Love

You confuse me with your needs
They are always front and center
Never ceasing, never waivering, never compromising
Yet I am expected to understand
To sympathize, to put aside any feelings of hurt
In order to soothe your mind
And ease your conscience
To keep you grounded and safe
You demand my complete and undivided attention
Want all of me in every way imaginable
To be yours and yours alone
To be shared with no-one
Unless you are there, holding my hand
Claiming ownership and possession
And God help me, I allowed it
Welcomed it, even embraced it
Because I always want you close to me
Because I always desire you
Because I love you
Because I need to be consumed by you
Because my heart and body recognize only you
Your very existence is the beat of my life
Yet in return you refuse to cease, to waiver or to compromise
To lessen your needs and demands
To understand that I am an emotional, needing human being too
That I need back the very things I give…
Is this how it will always be?
Me always having to be patient
Me always having to compromise
Me always having to be the stronger one
Me always loving you so madly, so completely, so helplessly
That I will continually brave the hurt because of it?
Is it any wonder I am afraid now
To open myself to you again, to be that vulnerable and exposed
Knowing you, who pleases my heart a thousand fold
Can break it into a thousand damaged pieces
In frustrated anger or petulant displeasure?
At times I don’t understand this kind of love
Or why you run
So deeply in my blood
But you do
Though at times
I wish you didn’t

Published by:

A late-bloomer who definitely came out crooked, dove in, got a little broken, patched herself up again and...voila! Upright ;) Sort of lol.

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