I survived the awful black

Looked deep inside
And saw a glimmer of light
When I had almost lost all hope
I found gratitude and love
For me
For my life
For all that I am
And forgave myself
For being human and weak
I am a strong woman
I always have been
I don’t know how I strayed so far
Falling deep into the rabbit hole
But I did
And I was afraid
So very afraid
And so very, very alone…
But I am reborn in the faith
Of those who never wavered
Have found my strength in their comfort
Their kindness and words of inspiration
Their generosity of spirit
Reminding me that I am good
That I am vital
I am necessary
I am important
I am needed
I am loved
And I am grateful for my reflection in their eyes
And in their hearts
I will always remember
This bittersweet Christmas
All the hurt that surrounded it
The heartache, the loneliness
And the brokenness of my soul
And maybe, one day, when this wound heals over
And the pain is not so fresh
I will look back and be grateful for its teaching

But not today…

Today I am just thankful
To have my beautiful, brilliant light back
It woke me up this morning and kissed my soul
I felt its warmth and glow and wonderful positivity
And I remembered my truth
And the beauty of who I am
I will never, ever forget it again

I am not healed but I am healing
And I know now

That I have not been forsaken
And I am so very, very grateful for that

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