We almost did it.
We almost made it to ground zero.
We were minutes away from moving in together when it hit me. Rather she hit me. She wants what I want but we have completely different ways of going about getting it. She values ‘things’ and demands a lot from life whereas I am simpler, easier and don’t ask for a lot. Yet she makes me feel like a loser for not wanting more. Makes me feel unworthy of her because I don’t have lofty goals and ideas. My dreams are not hers but I don’t condemn her for not living or thinking or breathing as I do.
I love her so much and yet she continually makes me feel insignificant and trivial. Like I am not enough. And yet I know my self worth and I am worth so much more then she sees.
Just once I would like to be loved for me.
Believed in and supported…
Just once I would like to be accepted and understood.
I want what she wants.
I want what everybody wants.
She says she loves me and yet she makes it painfully clear that I am not enough.