Damaged Heart

I love her
But I need to love her
Unafraid and secure
Why can’t I get past
This hurt
This fear
This insecurity
This feeling
That she isn’t really here
That her love
And her mind are fickle
That this will all disappear
With the snap of her finger
And break my heart
Again
Why can’t I trust her
Even when she shows me
Such beautiful love
And unbridled passion

I did once
Completely
Without reservation
I knew no better
So why can’t I do it now
Why can’t I get past
This anxiety
This need to run from her
And the pain she can cause
Why can’t I get past this
And just love her
Like my soul begs me to do
Like my heart aches to do
Why
Why can’t I get past this
And just be with her

I don’t understand
Myself anymore
I am not myself
I am beaten
Ashamed
Feeling unworthy of love
And now have far too many
Regrets

She has damaged my heart
Yet still
I love her so

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